Thursday, July 14, 2011

Yeah yeah yeah!!!

So I am fat.  What gives!?!?  I want to talk about other shit too!!!  I do want to be skinny, but obviously not bad enough if I am not doing anything about it.

I have been here many times.  I want to be skinny.  So either I get pissed off enough at my fatness that I do something about it or I just bitch and cry silently to myself at night. 

The last time I was really successful at losing weight everything else was going superb.  Know what I mean?  I lived in a beautiful house, my house was always clean, I loved my job, I thought I was in love,  I was getting married,  I had money to spend on darling clothes, I worked with young, fun girls that we motivated each other, talked about young love and fashion. 

Well now I have a beautiful extraordinary daughter, a kind and loving partner, a house that needs some TLC, I hate my boss with a fucking passion and she hates me and see as how I am at work most of my time it makes me miserable,  I am the breadwinner for my family which adds a lot of stress, I have no fun co-workers to talk to and I am SUPER tired 24/7.  This should be the time of my life.  I should say fuck it to everyone and just cherish what's important, but I can't seem too. HELP!!!!!

I need to get in shape before Michael will ever impregnate me again but I guess until we are ready and it's crunch time I may do just that. 

But for now I will bitch about being fat, not cute and not wanting to change.  I will just enjoy my daughter and my partner for now until I decide I want to change for me, or Maizy says "my momma so fat................"

Peace.

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