Woo hoo!

Ok, so I am so sick of writing about how well I am doing to just fall off the wagon, but here I go.  I have been doing super awesome for a week and am down 6 pounds. 


I am drinking so much water, to be more specific, it's my weight in ounces.  Yikes!  So feeling a little water logged for obvious reasons.  I would much rather consume 150 ounces of water someday.


I am taking more time to eat my meals, that are half or even third of the portion I used to eat, I chew each bite about 20 times and set my fork down between each bite.


I no longer load my plate for seconds.  


I know, I know, this is all basic stuff, but it works! It works well.


I am kickin' ass takin' names!!


Oh yeah did I mention I need to lose a shit ton of weight by August 18th!!  Yikes!! 

Back Fat

I remember the first day I discovered I had back fat.  I was 23.  I had on a new red, cute Southwest inspired sweater - sounds ugly, but would I wear anything ugly!?!  Ok anyway, I was at work and my new love interest worked there too.  Us girls were headed down to the cafeteria for lunch and my love interest would also be down there.  I used the bathroom to check myself out before I made my grandiose entrance into the lunchroom.  I turn around in the mirror to check my butt and I see back fat!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!  My day is over, who are we kidding, my day!?! My life!!!  My starving friends are yelling "come on!!! Let's go!!!" I want to cry.  Seriously.  I point out my gross back fat and they assure me it's the shirt? my bra? and not me - gotta love your girlfriends. I borrow my friends "windbreaker" that has been on the back of her desk chair for months maybe even years - with the inches of dust on it who really knows.

So we head to the breakroom.  I look awesome mind you.  I wear the windbreaker to get my food, spot my lover, we find a place.  i ask my friends to change me chairs so that my back fat doesn't hang over the back of my chair for him to see. They do. Now I am facing him and I shed the windbreaker and take minimal bites of my food. 

Ok that was long and drawn out but I remember that day perfectly.  I have lost and minimized my back fat over the years - like when I got married to said love interest and worked out a ton, then the back fat made a grand appearance back into my life a year after or so and has stayed until now!  Yes, that's right.  I am losing weight!  Woo hoo!!!  This working out shit is paying off.  I still kind of eat what I want.  I am working on that part slowly but surely - that's the hardest for me.

My scale is not my friend right now since the weight really isn't going down but I can tell I've lost inches!! YAY!!  my boobs and back fat are shrinking and I'm liking it!!

I am finding out that each time I lose weight and get serious about it; the weight seems to disappear from a different place first - my gut a few years ago, my butt after that and now my back fat and boobs.  It's a good day!!

I have been working out at least 3 times a week and loving it. Well I mean I love it and hate it and sometimes all within my 30 minute workout.  I have a wedding, family reunion and my daughter's 2nd birthday celebration all within a week of each other!! That's my motivation for sure.

Yay for goals and reaching them.

Woo hoo!!

I am down 5 pounds in 2 weeks.  I work out anytime my schedule allows so far 2 days a week, but that is going to change soon.  I have limited my carb intake a little - not a lot. Then I also limit my portion control.  I used to eat until I was stuffed and then felt sick after and now I don't do that.  I pause between bites, take smaller bites and then take a big break in the middle of my meal and if I am full I stop eating.  Easy peasy!

Growing up we were taught to eat all of our food or we couldn't "get down and play" or do what we want, so we were taught to eat everything on our plate and fast, so we could move on to bigger and better things.  Well that has taught me horrible habits.  I eat fast, it's not a contest, and I eat it all!!!  There is nothing wrong with saving it for another meal, sharing it or just giving it away completely.  I am trying really hard to change my mind set.  I am also going to teach this to my daughter.  I don't want her to feel like a garbage disposal and consume tonz of food she doesn't want or need.

I will admit the weekends are a little hard.  I really do enjoy drinking beer and have cut back significantly but the weekends tend to be a challenge and I know it's only going to get worse as the weather gets better - BBQ and Beer go hand in hand.  But as long as I am active and get more active I can have  a reward day and not feel too guilty about it. 

My mother bought me some birthday clothes for a girls trip we are taking in May.  I had her buy the pants a size smaller than I am now!  Scary!  But it's good to have a goal and know that if I don't lose weight I am going to look awfully silly and uncomfortable on my vacation and I certainly don't want that!

I want to welcome summer with open arms and no anxiety about how I look in shorts or even a bathing suit. 

Wish me luck!

It's Crunch Time!

The first time that I shed pound successfully is when I was getting married.  I knew I had to look great in my dress and I refused to get it altered unless it was for a smaller size. Anyway, I was successful in losing weight and fitting into my beautiful dress. The key for my weight loss is I had a goal and a specific date to work towards.

I also have another one!  It's August 11th and August 18th.  August is a HUGE month for us!!  It's my daughter's 2nd birthday and I refuse!  REFUSE!!!!  To be a big fatty for her b-day party and in her pictures.  UGH!  I want to wear a cute little number.  Then we also have my family reunion AND I am my besties Maid-of-Honor and I need to look fantastic for all to see.

So today is my first day to get back on track.  I was doing good there for a while.  I joined a gym and was working out 4 times a week, then I had a minor surgery that put my out of commission for a few weeks, well now it time to get serious again.  Woo hoo!!!
I don't want to put how much I weigh out there, but I am sure a few of those could guess and it would be correct, but also rather rude. ; )  Anyway, I want to get down as much as I can of course by then.  40 would be ideal but I ultimately have 50+ pounds to lose.  OK I am going to use all my knowledge and will power!!  Here we know!!!

I know, I know!

So I had the pleasure of hanging with my darling, size 0 sister all weekend and (insert sarcasm) Oh what a pleasure that was!! She kept asking me about weight loss and what I was going to do about being over weight and saying that I knew nothing about nutrition and asking if I watched Dr. Oz and went on and on and on!! At first it was irritating and then it got offensive.

My mom and I talked about it and when it comes to weight loss it has to be something you really, really want!  And you do it for you, and you only!  Then something clicks in your head and you start to make a change for yourself.  I pretty much agree with that.  It also helps to have a goal to work towards.  For example, when I was getting married I knew I had to fit in my dress, I believe I've mentioned this before, but that I when I did really well and stuck to my goal.

Well I am back on the bandwagon.  I want to really, really lose weight for my family reunion AND I want to take Maizy swimming and look good in a swimsuit.  My daughter really is my motivation.  On my way home from work last night there was a gentleman talking on NPR about weight loss and was saying what to do to shed those pounds and how simple it can until you add factors such as your financial situation (healthy food is more pricey), your work schedule,  if you have children or not and so on and so on.  He really caught my attention with that statement.  Those are definitely some challenges of mine, but I can overcome them and I will!! 

YAY!!!  I am happy to report that after my first day I am 1.4 pounds down!! Woo hoo!!!  Now just imagine if I exercised too!!!  baby steps, baby steps!

No shopping while hungry!!!

The other night I broke the cardinal rule - NO Grocery Shopping While Hungry!!!!

Or this could and most likely does happen!

What was I thinking!?!?!  I didn't do too bad, well I could have caused a lot more damage.  I just bought a cheeseball - a buffalo blue cheese one.  Sounds gross!?!  Well it wasn't!  I did eat it with some whole grain crackers, but still all those calories, the carbs!  YIKES!! Then my fat brain said - well you already ruined your diet for the day you should have a beer!!!  What did I do?? Have a beer!! Maybe two! Oh goodness!

I regretted it big time.  I did SOOOO good all day and now that was just washed down the drain! Gone.

BUT I did learn some great things though, although, it may be the third or hundredth time I've learned it - don't beat yourself up more than you need to. There is nothing you can do about it now - just going forward!!

The regret and loss of sleep and number on the scale is not worth it, so just don't do it!

You're only hurting yourself!

Now you have to work that much harder!

I could probably go on, but I'm not.  I definitely woke up the following morning with a new attitude, a better one.  I've decided to work hard to stay on track and focus on my goals!!

YAY!!!

2nd Workout

Don't worry I won't number all of my workouts but I will the first handful since they are small but yet big steps for me. 

I woke up this morning and did a super fast workout, but the way I look at it, is it's better than nothing, right!?!?  Plus it worked out my arms and I hope they hurt a little later today knowing that my workout was effective. 

I have to admit I do love when my muscles ache a bit after a workout it means it's working!!! YAY!!!

I didn't lose any weight this weekend, but I didn't gain either.  YAY!!!  Those damn carbs get me every time!!!  I'm Italian (my excuse for a lot of things as I explain this using my hands) and I can't, simply can't say no to pasta or a good loaf of bread!!  I mean really!?!?!  But look  I am paying the price. 

I am back on track today and will continue to be.  There is something about the weekends that seem so "fancy free"!!  But here we are Monday and it's time to get back to business. 

YAY!!!

1st Workout

This morning was my very first workout in a really long time. It was only a 10 minute workout video but it was tough, I was sweating, I was cursing, I was feeling the burn and now I feel great!!  The workout involved a lot of squats which are awful to perform but very effective.  I was feeling SO motivated this morning and still do!!  I want to look like the lady in the workout video!! She had a rockin' bod!!

My eating plan is still going well.  I will admit that dinner time with my family is where it becomes difficult.  My family doesn't want to eat a Lean and Green Meal every night.  I do awesome during the day in eating my small, low or no-carb meals, so that I can "splurge" a little at dinner.  For example, Michael made himself an awesome cheesy, hot, toasted meatball sub!  It did look divine but I opted for really thin slice of the homemade sour dough bread, mustard, and TONZ of veggies and low-sodium shredded turkey!  The sandwich was to die for!!!  It was filling, healthy and fabulous PLUS I got to sit down with my family at the dinner table as we all enjoyed a tasty sandwich.  I am finding healthy alternatives to eating and drinking.  I feel more motivated than I ever have.

Small steps + Small victories + Small goals = Great Stuff!!!

I am down 6 pounds!!!

Small Victory

Ok, so I am down 5 pounds - woo hoo!!!!  This losing weight thing is hard!!  I could just kick myself hard for every cookie, piece of cake, second serving and fattening coffee drink I've ever had.  It just wasn't worth it!!!

BUT I have to do what I said - focus on 5 pounds at a time!!  These small victories will lead to a great big one!  YAY!!

I went shopping on my lunch break today.  I tired on 5 shirts and they all looked like shit on me, but instead of always blaming the sweater itself, the material or the designer, it's ultimately my fault.  It's good to remain positive, but it's also honest and grown-up to hold myself responsible for the way I look.  I got myself in this mess and will get myself out! I HAVE to!!  This is what keeps motivating me. 

I also ordered online a cute little red, white and blue number that I am going to wear on the 4th of July and I want to look rockin' in it!!!  It's hanging up in my bedroom and I look at it every single day!!

I haven't incorporated any physical activity into my daily routine yet.  To be honest I am SOOOOOO tired!!  I will get there though.  I am not giving up on that yet. 

Bring it on 2012!!!

I LOVE New Years.  I really do feel like, for obvious reasons, it's a great time to start fresh, with new goals and a new outlook on life.

2011 was a great year and like all year's it had it's up and downs.  More ups than downs, so that is good.

To be honest I didn't exercise as much as I anticipated with all the craziness due to the holidays.  I just felt like my time wasn't my own, running here and there, going to functions and trying to fit sleep in there too!!

So yesterday I got back on track.  I am down 1.6 pounds.  I definitely gained weight over the holidays and splurged a little or maybe a lot knowing that New Year's was around the corner. 

I know this may sound crazy, but with only one day under my belt I do feel fantastic.  I am just anxious and excited for the future.  I was reading an article last night about weight loss and this comment really gave me comfort.  The lady featured in the article lost 115+ pounds and she said that it seems over whelming to think about how much you need to lose, but just focus on 5 pounds at a time and before you know it, you've reached your goal.  I really like that idea.  I need to lose 50 pounds by August for a family reunion and my daughter's 2nd birthday - I didn't reach my goal for her 1st and I really regret that.

50 pounds sounds like a lot to me and it is, but I got myself here and I need to fix it!!  So I am just going to focus on losing 5 pounds at a time and see where that gets me.  Even if I only lose 5 pounds a month that puts me at 40 pounds down and I would be ecstatic with that, so would Michael, so would my daughter and so would my mother - my health is at jeopardy with my high blood pressure.

On Monday I was cleaning my room and hanging up all my clothes and was getting totally depressed.  My size 16 pants are getting tight, my shirts are too tight and don't fit like they should and when I am not at work  I just wear my mumu because that is what fits me and I am totally comfortable BUT super unattractive.  

This may be too much information, but Michael sometimes notices - when I am not hiding or changing in the dark - how tight my bra is on me and the red marks it leaves from wearing all day, it's embarrassing!!!!! 

The sad thing is I have gained 27 pounds after the birth of my daughter - what!?!?!  I know, I know!! Most people lose. 

After my daughter's birth and up until now I never turned down a piece of cake or chocolate, then when I was done breast feeding I made up for lost time and drank lots of beer!! UGH!!!
I am going to contribute this to being a little depressed after my daughter was born.  We lived with Michael's brother, his crazy girlfriend and her 3 awful children and it was horrible for so many reasons.  My daughter gave me so much join, but my stress eating went out of control.  We had to share a kitchen so there was really no way to prepare healthy meals and if we did we didn't eat until really late after the hooligans downstairs were out of sight.

Anywho,  I am really looking forward to 2012, it's the year of "Get My Shit Together!!"  Eat healthy, exercise, be more organized and less stressed!

Cheers!!